Let me say two things before we get real: first, I don’t really want to hurt my dog; second, I’m not alone in this feeling that I want to squeeze my dog until he pops. Ok, disclaimer is issued, and we can move on.
Something Is Wrong With Me
As is normally the case, I always thought there was something psychologically wrong with me when I felt the urge to crush or bite my dog when he did something cute (for example, existing). It never got to the point where I needed to seek help, because I always managed to control my urges to squeeze him past a safe point, or to nibble on his velvety elephant ear…but those concerning urges were still there. Well, it turns out that this intense feeling of aggression is completely normal, and it is so common that it has a name: Cute Aggression. Thanks, Science!
Yale University Psychologists started studying Cute Aggression in 2013[1], and measured participants’ urge to squeeze bubble wrap when they saw pictures of cute animals. As you can guess, the cuter the animal, the more squeezing. Just two months ago, Frontiers in Behavioral Neuroscience, published a research article[2] that explains the most likely reason this cute aggression happens.
Balancing Emotions
Researchers said that the reason we have these semi-violent urges to squeeze or bite our cute animals is because our brain is trying to balance out the flood of positive emotions we are experiencing. Our brain is saying, “whoa, dude, you’re seeing something a little too cute here…we gotta figure out a way to bring this down a little bit. Let’s see here—oh, I know, KILL IT!”
But why would the brain do this? Doesn’t it want us to be happy and live our best life? And does it really have to go to such morbid extremes to rain on our parade? Well, our brain is doing us the same favor that got humans so far on this planet, and it comes down to responsible caretaking (whether it’s a human baby or an animal baby).
Being a Good Caretaker
From an evolutionary perspective, it wasn’t a good adaptation for humans to be so entranced by a cute thing that you couldn’t even take care of it. Sure, cute things got our attention over the millennia, but that wasn’t enough, so our brain threw this aggressive curve ball to balance the levels. In doing so, the person “is no longer incapacitated with overwhelming positive affect…that person may be better able to care for the baby.”[3] As you could guess, we are more likely to have Cute Aggression for our own dog compared to other people’s dogs. This has to do with the emotional part of the brain attaching care to our pup that we’re familiar with, instead of one that someone else is responsible for taking care of.
Nothing Is Wrong With Me
It’s not a typical dinner table conversation, but its completely normal to be overwhelmed by your dog’s cuteness to the point of wanting to squeeze, bite, or hurt it. The difference is that you don’t actually do it (that would make you a psychopath, and a terrible human being). Our brains are hardwired to balance the unreal cuteness we see in our pups everyday with equally unreal doom that is designed to bring us down to earth and be the good caretaker they need.
[1] https://www.scientificamerican.com/article/cuteness-inspires-aggression/ [2] https://www.frontiersin.org/articles/10.3389/fnbeh.2018.00300/full [3] https://clarkrelationshiplab.yale.edu/sites/default/files/files/Psychological%20Science-2015-Arag%C3%B3n-259-73.pdf
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I completely agree! I always bit my baby boy in the head (with my lips, not teeth), put his ears in my mouth, and grab his sides. I CAN’T HELP IT!
I know! my dog is too cute for me not to squeeze him to death!!!
I have the same thing but in my case I have OCD along with the cutness aggression and here I am doing my research!!
So true, I always squeeze my dog and bit his fur not his skin but i feel terrible when he gets scared of me It’s hard to control
Thank God I’m not alone. You see I have a Chihuahua Jack Russell Terrier mix and she is beyond cute. Before we found each other my opinion on pets was very different. I rescued my baby from a heroin addict and the night I finally got to take her home (after I paid the guy off with $300) she had just been shot up with heroin. I took her to the vet and after we were sent home I held her for the next 8 hours while she cried in misery the whole time. Now she’s so happy and full of energy and I’ve become one of those pet owners that I use to ridicule and have a general displeasing opinion of. Crazy thing is I didn’t really rescue her she rescued me as I am a recovering heroin addict myself. Long story short, I too have had those feelings and hated myself for thinking such thoughts. I’ve never acted on them and certainly never plan to but it sure helps to understand why. Too bad I can’t attach a video, she really is Super cute and I love her something fierce. Thanks for letting me share.
I know! my dog is too cute for me not to squeeze him to death!!!
Thank you, This explains a lot. I thought it was some latent sociopathic urge so that’s relieving. I know I’m a guy and this is probably more common in women but this is definitely what I’ve been feeling. Ever since we got him all I want to do is mush my face into his and squeeze him until he yips but of course I don’t. I understand dog body language and a little training and he’s a really good boy. Maybe he’s too good lol. Idk but this definitely helped me not feel like a monster.
this was extremly funny for me , and a bit hard for me to hear, i love my pet but the feeling is so strong that sometimes i put his whole head inside my mouth and i feel like i want to eat him, im not a psychopat or at least thats what i belive and after im like OMG i did it again, I almost eat mimis head , daaammmm god please forgive me ….
I’ve had a few episodes where (I am a woman btw) I almost
Did something terrible on 2 occasions one to a kitten and once to a pup, I love animals especially babie animals and I don’t have this urge whatsoever in anything BUT animals. I never killed an animal but I definitely roughed them up a bit one moment I was cuddling them the next I was squeezing them a bit too tight. It had me feeling TERRIBLE afterwards. I want a pet so bad but I don’t trust myself with one. It’s a scary feeling and makes me feel like a monster, when I was younger I never felt like that as an adult I do.
I thought I was weird too that when my little tiny dog would do something sweet and cute I would want to squeeze her and play a little rough with her. Never knew it had a name but glad im not a psycho.